Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Canadian PM Justin Trudeau Loves Ketchup Doritos & Yoga

Do Grade-A Squawkers like to snap at Saucy chips? If a recent shot revealed in our Ketchup Doritos blog isn't a rag o' lies, then that's a Ketchup Doritos dust-red-handed yes! A perched petulant parrot appears here in a photo next to a bag of Ketchup Doritos shamelessly here in one of the hallways of Winnipeg's Canadian Museum of Human Rights, his smug laugh reminding us of the last damned Canuck election.

If his fondness for reggae and incense teaches us anything, then it's safe to say his sinister plan is to teach our parrots to speak a single word each, and then to use his parliamentary leverage to ram through legislation to give them the right to vote, and you know which word he'll teach them. "LIBERAL"

Trudeau was once a drama teacher so you know that he wants to cause a bunch of dramatic feeling in the populace. He probably expects the Maritimes to think about how She left Him for the shifty-eyed American Choppers-wearing Assistant Manager of the Dixie Lee from Port Daniel, or to remind Saskatchewan of the moment when They realized that death was a true thing and Mama wasn't coming home.

The PM once drew a picture of a middle finger to depict the new Ottawa-funded Human Rights Building in Winnipeg, Manitoba. Defensively, his Press Attaché said,  "(Trudeau) didn't have time to make the Obama pinky ring because he was busy finding new reasons to collect personal income tax from ordinary Canadians."

Postcard-sized copies of the painting were bought and sold like common chattel. The original sold at an auction for $25,000 and could have been bought by anyone, even the crooked bastards from ISIS.

Some art collectors could see right through the water-coloured dream and were unimpressed.

If we've learned anything from this ordeal, you can teach a PM to Squalker, but you can't make him brinks-manship.

[Ed. Note: Jeremy Brendan helped to polish, buffet, and massage this article until it squealed with delight like some sort of porcine bride, unencumbered by the worry of the fall season and the looming political slaughter.]